Friday, December 5, 2008
What wrong have i done wrong to deserve this , did lots of thinking last night and i still dont understand why , why is it like this , it a very big change within just a few days , only 2 of you understand what i mean . Planned for movies , planned for dinners , planned for christmas and so many things and now this just happen . I did my best in everything i can do , gave everything i can give but what have i done wrong to deserve this ? change everything thats in me to be better , attitude , personality and behaviour but seems like all this is like just a waste , i change for nothing . people says that as long as you did your best , your effort will not be wasted , but i dont agree with that phrase , as it did'nt happen to me , did everything but it just did'nt happen . theres just alot more to say but its just no point posting everything here as i believe it just wont do any help in me i'll just remain as who i am now and how i am feeling . never had i felt like this before in my life , i dont have the courage to handle this , go ahead , call me coward , timid or selfish , i dont care . I wish i had never work up from the sweetest dreams that i never had before in my life but now i'm awake the dream is gone forever . Its best for you , but as for me , i'm just being left out alone with no one , to suffer and eventually wait for something to happen somehow . Now its gone , everything is gone , left with nothing , i wonder how long can i survive this stress in me , its worst then the previous time cause this time i really put in my everything and i mean everything i have but the outcome is really a nightmare i never wanted , never in my life . you'll never know how it feels like , my blog only tells part of it , i'm having the full , STRESSED UP
Labels: It just Shatted again at 2038 on 04122008
